How Not to Get Your Dream Job

A good resume can put you on track for a successful interview and can help you get hired for your dream job.  There are some things, however, that you should never, ever do if you want to even think about stepping foot in your dream job’s building.  Here is a hilarious collection of mistakes, blunders, misspellings, and writings from the resumes of people who really should have reconsidered before they sent their resumes in.

http://resumehell.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-11-19T09:29:00-08:00

I present to you a site which you can scroll endlessly and laugh at the stupidity of others and make yourself feel a bit better.  No, “collecting happy meal toys” is not something to advertise about yourself on a resume.  If you want to scroll through endless posts of people writing things such as, “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”, this site is for you.

http://www.careerbuilder.ca/ca/share/aboutus/pressreleasesdetail.aspx?id=pr7&sd=4%2F25%2F2007&ed=12%2F31%2F2007&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=d3cb4634118a4773af0f63ad77b22cd1-248330015-JL-5&ns_siteid=ns_us_g_resume_blunders

A few words you can learn from this site: you should not include nude pictures of yourself or say you work well nude.  Bingo is not an acceptable hobby to advertise.  Though writing your resume as a play seems creative, it is, in fact, not professional.  Being professional is key to writing a good resume.

http://www.careerbuilder.com/share/aboutus/pressreleasesdetail.aspx?id=pr366&sd=4%2F25%2F2007&ed=12%2F31%2F2007

This is the same website, but expressing different points of hilarity.  There are some things that are just not professional.  “Professional” is not printing your resume on teddy bear paper, nor is it attaching a letter from your mother, nor is it stating that your sister won a strawberry eating contest.

http://resumepower.com/resume-bloopers.html

Though not quite as ridiculous as the other websites, this site posts more common resume mistakes, such as spelling. They can be pretty devastating on their own, though.  “Revolved” is not the same word as “resolved”, and gives quite a different meaning to a sentence with that word.  This site also reminds us that it also helps to know the meaning of words; it helps to know that “tanked” is not a positive word.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/jobs_articles/resume-bloopers/2012/09/12/e6f2c2e2-fd04-11e1-a31e-804fccb658f9_story.html

This last article pokes a bit of fun at someone who mentions that he has skills in “attention to detail” twice.  The irony definitely made me laugh, as probably the person who read the resume originally did.  This article is helpful, though, because it reminds us that in the midst of making fun of these people who make crazy resume mistakes, that everyone makes mistakes.  Sometimes it is ok to laugh, but other times you need to try to help people who need to improve their resumes. Or you need to be reminded that no one is perfect, and everyone has probably made that same mistake you made time and time again.  With a little work, though, most anyone can polish up their resume to the point that they can actually achieve their dream profession.

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4 thoughts on “How Not to Get Your Dream Job

  1. Some of these definitely made me laugh! I love how you added the article at the end. It was unique and intriguing. I am an analytical person so I found it interesting and enjoyed reading someone’s perspective. I thought it was hilarious that someone sent the edited copy to the employer that literally pointed out all the mistakes.

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  2. I love the nude pictures comment that you made. I also find it ironic that someone would use teddy bear paper to express a sense of professionalism. Teddy bears portray the complete opposite of professional, maturity. Loved your post and the laughs that came with it!

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  3. I’m sure collecting happy meal toys could really put you over the top in your job search! I mean if my kid ever wants a toy, I can get one from this person. I enjoyed all the links you posted. Good job!

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  4. I thought it was hilarious when someone put “collect happy meal toys.” Obviously they have high goals for themselves. Also I think that it is funny that people want to be taken seriously put put things like that or not proof reading your resumés . It shows that they don’t really care.

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