Ring By Spring – As Explained to Aliens of the Custom

Dear intergalactic reader,
You might have heard of this strange game called “Ring by Spring”. It is found in small gatherings of humans aged around 18 through 22 (and sometimes older) brought together for the common purpose of learning. The places which they gather to enhance their knowledge of the world are called colleges or universities. They are instructed in groups called “classes” by an expert in the specialty of these classes who is usually older and wiser. The particular group of universities for which the “Ring by Spring” custom is common is in those universities which value the higher presence of God, morals, and a great deal of smiling and waving ones arms around while announcing in song one’s praises to this God. These particular kinds of universities are denoted by the word “Christian.”
Now, to explain the game found in these Christian Universities. The main purpose of these universities is to gain knowledge, which I mentioned before. This knowledge is gained so that one can go out of these small gathering of people in 4 years or so and be able to find “employment”. That is, the rest of the world trades such skills learned in the University for the all powerful paper object called “money”. Ironically, it usually takes a great amount of this money to get into these universities in the first place. Some people in these universities, however, forgo the original purpose of attending such universities, and instead complete these 4 years with not the accomplishment of being able to be employed, but a circular metal object on their left hand.
This is the sign that tells others that they have won the game “Ring by Spring.” Instead of intending to finish their years at the university for gainful employment, some of the females simply intend to attend the university to play this undercover game of “Ring by Spring”. They pretend to be just like all the other humans and even pick an undercover form of study to “major” in such as nursing, engineering, psychology, and art (though, that major doesn’t usually merit much money in the world anyways). Their mission is to attract the male kind in acts called “flirting”. Usually they try to show off how well they can prepare food, such as sandwiches, how much they can passionately worship God, and their general good nature. Once she has found a male who is sufficiently interested in her, they generally depart separately from their friends to eat food, look at moving pictures, or other such activities known as a “date”. During this time, she must play extra well for one false move and the entire game may be over and the male she chose may never help her win; this is known as a “break up”.
If she plays the game well, at the end of the four year period the male makes himself shorter than the girl by putting his knee to the floor and hands her a circular object. This ritual is usually done before springtime as the name implies. Receiving this “ring” (as it is called) before the end of the 4 years means she has won the game. This end result can be achieved any time during these years, but the more efficient she is about obtaining it sooner, the prouder the recipient is, pleased with a game well played.
After the time in the university, those with the rings are joined together with their male partner and create miniature versions of themselves. Generally, then, the male continues his mission in earning money in the world while the female stays at home with the miniature people, helping to prepare the next generation to go to college to either earn money or play “Ring by Spring”.

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2 thoughts on “Ring By Spring – As Explained to Aliens of the Custom

  1. I really enjoyed this post! Ring by spring is such a weird concept to most people. I would assume being in a relationship that works really well would make is easier to make a commitment like this. I like the idea of it being a game. Especially since it does come across as a game within the game of college.

    Like

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